Ne Pas Nager, Plus De Natation. I was never swimming for life-saving. I never wished to rape the mill pond with my freestyle. I never hankered after skinny dipping or ghosting into tepid tides to pillage ocean currents. I'm no yacht, no sleek racer with waxed hull and cool-hand Coxswain. I have no life-boats. I don't splash, I clatter. I'm holed. I'm drowning for a bail-out. The water braises me - it softens me up. In my colourful costume I'm rainbow sous-vide. I leave my flavour in the tea room at the local lido for aid and refreshment after shivery morning lengths. I've no desire to burgle jewellery sparkling upon the necks of summer rivers, as they alarm the healing country-side still in slow relief from the spring floods. I'd rather not invade those rough shallows with my twinkle-toes, soft padding to the car with spectre footsteps to recover my reticent rolled-up towel. How many dawns must be wrecked by the cursing of adolescent lake invaders, ruining survival for a quick glimpse of mystic flesh? Left this time, I'm done - scuttled. Resigned to sink slowly to burning depths. I expected the life-buoy, the baywatch, the rescuers, But when I really needed them, they let me drown.
Diana, Princess of Wales, was born today in 1961.
Pamela Anderson, Canadian model, actress, activist and author, was born today in 1967.